"Shut up Already!" Is what I kept hearing in my dreams. When I woke up, I looked it up online for some deep meaning but didn't get any hits. I tried to interpret it in many different ways. Was it in regards to what happened a few weeks ago when I stood up for myself and told my sister- in- law to not call me "Mongola" anymore (which for the record and if she ever reads this she was very cool, apologetic and loving about it, Love you Ana!) , was it about the weird action movie I saw last night, do I need to tell someone to shut up or was it random and nothing at all. Had to be something because I don't believe dreams are random at all.
But as the day went on I forgot about it and the thoughts that have been overpowering my mind for the past 3 weeks kept creeping up. The thoughts about my very stressful living situation, my recent move from the beautiful San Diego to my close to the heart hometown, and very freakin humid "what's your exit?" Jersey, my business moving and feeling spread thin from all the family visits were becoming overwhelming. Since I had come from such a peaceful place I tried my best to stay peaceful. And wasn't being with family what I had been longing for? I mean it's one of the main reasons I moved back. So since I was trying to stay "zen", peaceful and keep it all together- I didn't even realize I was ignoring the anger brewing, the resentment, the fear and frustration. Recipe for a meltdown right?
After a heart opening call with my amazing biz coach I remembered it was ok and very necessary to vent. Sure, it's important to have a positive outlook and feeling about life YET it's equally important to be honest and let out all the feelings you might want to "DEPRESS" down. I mean did you know that's where the word depression comes from? From "depressing" your feelings for too long. I am not a stranger to the D word. Depression runs rampant in my family and I have also been V.P of that club. I gave the pillows a beating, I cried, I journaled, I let it all out. I used every single tool I teach my own clients to use in times like these. The bed and couch never had a chance!
What a relief. Man did it feel GOOD.
Then my dream came back to me suddenly, "Shut Up Already!" and then it was clear to me, I'M THE ONE THAT HAD TO SHUT UP. I needed silence from myself FOR myself. Sure, I had seen something like this is in "Eat, Pray, Love" and while I had fantasized about eating lots of pasta, learning another language, and traveling -I had never ever thought of being in silence. It felt new and strange but it felt right. Hope you are still with me here- I almost wasn't!
So I decided to be in complete silence for 48 hours, no internet, no phone, only writing in case of emergency. I told my close knit business group, my parents and my boyfriend, Chris. Chris responded with, "Oh, like the monk from The Hangover.", yup like the monk from The Hangover. I love Chris.
I am looking forward to sharing with you what happened next, how it brought me closer to Chris, how it helped me feel differently about my circumstances and how surprisingly enough Chris wants to try a silent day together! I also want to share some steps you can take if at the end of our journey together you want to give it a try!
If you can relate or want to comment feel free to do it below.
Jennifer Castaneda is the co-author of the forthcoming book, "Love, Dating & The Real Happily Ever After" Her mission is to help single smart women who are tired of playing games or waiting and desire to attract their soulmate. To work with her, stay updated with how to finally attract your soulmate or request her for a speaking engagement contact her at www.jennifercastaneda.com
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